6 Day Race

The Idea

It was not my idea to run the Six Day Race. Toshala first of all suggested that I could run the race by way of conversation during a long training run for the August Self-Transcendence Marathon. I got a bit mad and grumpily gave her a whole string of very sensible reasons why I could not compete in such a race, including: my children; working; and no time to train. The subject was dropped – no wonder! – but all day I thought about it.

A few years before this, I had travelled with Subarata to Hamilton where she was going to give a beginners’ meditation class. On the way she told me stories about running the 700 Mile Race. After the race she appreciated so much just being warm and dry and wearing fluffy socks! When she was about to be given her trophy by Sri Chinmoy she told herself that she had to walk up smartly, ignoring her tiredness and aches and pains. Later someone told her that Sri Chinmoy had remarked at how smartly Subarata had walked up to receive her trophy – using the exact words she had thought! I asked Subarata whether it was necessary for a seeker to run an ultra to realise God! She did not really give me a definite answer! I told her very sincerely that one day I would like to participate in an ultra run.

I got to thinking about how we never know how things are going to work out and what we are really capable of with God’s Grace. By the end of the day I decided I wanted to do the race. Toshala was a little surprised at my change of heart!

God’s New Experience

The first two days were hard. My new shoes turned out to be no good and my knees and actually my whole legs were very sore. I felt very insecure hobbling at any opportunity on grassy bits at the sides of the track while the other runners seemed to sail easily by. I felt like a fake compared to the others, not a real runner, ill-trained and unprepared and with very little enthusiasm at all for the actual running. My mind bothered me like anything, repeating how useless I was and how badly I was doing. When I was particularly bothered by it I walked until I felt a bit better, then I would run for a while longer.

At last sometime during the second day I remembered Dipali saying that we would have to remind ourselves during the race the reasons we wanted to do the race so that we could alleviate our pain, mental or physical. So I remembered why – for God, for progress, for advancement along the path to God.

And then I saw! I saw how much of my suffering was because I thought the experience should be a certain way and I was disappointed that it was not living up to my expectations. I remembered my unusual enthusiasm for running back at home, feeling compelled to squeeze a long run into the day. Even when I was tired from working long hours and little sleep I still looked forward to the end of the work day and would get energy and feel fine when I ran. It dawned on me – God wanted to have a particular experience through me, unlike any experience He had ever had. I gave the race to God, as much as I could. If I didn’t do well and even if I didn’t like any of it then that was up to God.

When this revelation dawned I felt so much better! Now and then when it was hard and I felt disappointed in myself I would remember that it was not actually my experience and I would say to God, “I hope that this is all alright. I hope that You are having the experience You wanted to have with me.”

Helping the Runners

Each day the runners eagerly anticipated Sri Chinmoy’s appearance at the race. He would cycle on the track for a long time and afterwards offer the runners prasad (blessed food). The first time Sri Chinmoy visited, my leg pain suddenly very obviously subsided. I ran as though I had just started and was questioning myself, “What was the problem before?!”

The next day was similar and I noticed that the other runners were flying around like me. I told Bhuvah how our Master was removing pain and she said it was incredible to watch the struggling runners to be transformed by Sri Chinmoy’s mere presence at the track.

Birds

One day, birds came out of nowhere, swirling and looping up high and then swooping down to the runners’ level.

They were swallows, hundreds of them, much bluer than New Zealand ones. From the distance the little moving V’s sped closer until their glittering blue bodies turned into detailed little personalities, each one perfect with bright black eyes, seen for a split second before they darted past and became a tiny disappearing speck. They were like so many souls winging their way backwards and forwards between heaven and earth.

Other black mischievous birds with bright red shoulders lived their lives alongside us, playing daring games clutching the tall reeds upside down and grabbing waving branches in mid-swoop, calling cheekily to each other all the while. And there were peaceful ducks who came out of the water early, before dark, to sleep trustingly on random patches of grass, their heads tucked into their wings. How many times I ran, hobbled or staggered past the same sleepy duck for hours, oblivious of anything, lost in a duck dream-world!

The Master’s Compassion

Because a Spiritual Master is indefatigably concerned with his child’s progress towards perfection, even when the disciple’s life experiences intensify, such as the sheer pain and exhaustion involved in running an ultra race, it seems that not even for a moment do the inner struggles ever let up! This was clear to me whenever He visited the race, cycling up and down one section of the track, silently blessing the runners as they passed by.

I worried for an excruciating couple of days that my thoughts were too ridiculous, mundane and not pure enough for me to worthy to even be in my Master’s blessingful presence. Luckily, light dawned and I saw the beauty of what was actually taking place. My Master so compassionately was drawing away the impurities from my nature like a gust of wind scooping up dead autumn leaves and whirling them far away... Or like a brisk sea breeze flicking the foam from the churning surface of a choppy ocean into the vast sky.

A little more relaxed, I allowed the thoughts to naturally surface, without focusing on them, and be whisked away out of sight and mind by my most kind and compassionate Master.

The Night of Grace

The last night Grace rained down. After the two most scorchingly hot, tortuously long, slow-paced days of the race I found that I was miraculously able to run easily again. It was late at night, the pain was still present but below the surface. I seemed to be floating slightly above the mind’s domain and here God could use me. I needed to stay extremely focused and very grateful so that my mind would not interfere and spoil everything. I ran the whole night hardly stopping but as though on a tightrope. I tried to keep my consciousness as even as possible by offering gratitude and praying that I would remain God’s instrument through the night. I felt that if I was not careful at any moment I could fall into an abyss of self-pity and would grind to a halt.

When sleepiness overcame me I drank liquorice tea or coffee and ate often to keep weakness at bay. My daughter, Plabita, stayed up with me the whole night, her wakefulness somehow part of the spell. Slowly, gradually morning dawned, other runners emerged and still I was able to run each lap without stopping. Only at the start and finish of the lap did my legs complain and seize up.

At every step I felt the miracle of being God’s instrument. Without God I could never have stayed out there so long, running around with such ease. Absolutely for this most special night I give one hundred percent credit to God. I was so happy to have the privilege of being used in this way! At about 8am fatigue took over my body so Plabita and I slept for a while. Before too long I stumbled out onto the track again, the sweetness of the finish at long last in sight!