Defining Moments

When someone enters into the circle dance with God, a dictionary of defining moments unfolds. The seeker experiences some defining moment that opens up the very existence of God into his/her life. Sri Chinmoy uses a vivid image of words and realities being written in gold letters on the tablet of our hearts. Thus, I imagine this dictionary resides in our spiritual hearts. Inner experiences, moments of spiritual union and sweet lessons build one upon another into defining moments of our existence.

This afternoon a palette of light, clouds and even a few random acts of snowflakes strode past my window. If I turned from my work, each view out of the window brought a different play of sun, clouds and sky. I was lost in a reverie of Monet's haystacks and the notion that I could happily spend hours just watching how the progressing light of the day paints masterpiece after masterpiece - all for free!

At one moment, the sun was mostly shining yet something barely perceptible was falling from the sky. I looked more closely and some very light snow was falling. I was off to test the theory of whether or not sun and snow could create rainbows. I think not but the sky was alive with blue, pink, grey, mauve, white and black.

The flakes of snow were so infrequent that one doubted their true existence. Acts of mercy and goodness from others and God perhaps suffer the same fate as they are overshadowed by the ubiquitous suffering and injustice in the world.

But both are true regardless of their sometimes faint expression. And they led me to ponder defining moments of who God is for each and every traveler on pilgrimage to divinity. One time Sri Chinmoy said something to the effect of "My name is my Lord's Forgiveness" and in the endless expressions of unconditional forgiveness, which for me is perhaps the greatest defining reality of God, then I felt this word is more my name than even the spiritual name given to me by Sri Chinmoy. For my journey could not even exist without that initial spark of forgiveness that offers the biggest bum business deal of all time from God's point of view. God's Light and Love in exchange for my hurt, fear and all other varieties of ignorance. Even the seed of an inner cry hid from me for years and I fall down as often as I walk forward. Therefore, I would probably choose the word forgiveness if asked to define who and what God is.

What are your defining moments? I'm sure that just as we have completely unique fingerprints our definitions of God would likely straddle the vastness and universality that He/She encompasses.

Now the sun sets. Even though these moments pass in a fleeting instant, I hope we can memorize them at least inside the tablet of our hearts and tell their stories to every soul hungry for divinity.