Strange Peace

I started off one day in a very bad mood, and by lunchtime I had multiplied that mood many times— bad, sad, mad, etc. I was past the point of caring about whether I could salvage a shred of aspiration and I simply did not care how bitter I felt. When it came time for the lunch-hour meditation at the United Nations, I called to find out if Guru was coming on that day. He was, but I felt no consolation. In fact, I didn't want to be seen by Guru in such a state. Nevertheless, I went to the meditation. I couldn't meditate—I didn't even try. After the meditation was over, I noticed Guru rubbing the middle of his forehead, and on his way out I half imagined that he glanced my way. Walking back to my office, I felt a bit better, lighter. Even then I tried to hang onto my precious misery, but I just couldn't—I felt pretty good really. By the time I reached my office, it was as if the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders—except for one strange thing. There was a burning sensation on the edge of my collar. When I looked I found that under my locket, where Guru's image was tucked under my collar, there was a large, red, stinging welt—about the size of a quarter. I was frightened to see this nasty sore and I couldn't imagine what it was or figure out how it happened to be there. Then in a flash I realised it was as if the concentrated poison I had brought into the meditation had been drawn physically out of me—a small festering of negative thoughts concentrated and removed. About an hour and a half later the burning stopped and the sore was gone. I felt a strange peace.

Saudamini (New York)