You could see the photo of this car accident in almost every newspaper in Switzerland: a Madal Bal van with Sri Chinmoy's photograph inside, pierced by a crash-barrier that rose up behind the car into the sky more than 10 metres. This experience was like a nightmare from my childhood in which I found myself in a cruel, hopeless situation and desperately fought to wake up. But this time I did not succeed, not until Guru freed me from this abysmal abyss with his loving care.
I tried to get out of the van, but my right leg wouldn't move. When I tried to lift it with my hand, my fingers found themselves between flesh and bones, covered with blood. I was so shocked and horrified that I didn't notice that a bar from the destroyed seat had speared me.
Enough facts for despair. I was extremely lucky that I had already been a disciple of Sri Chinmoy's for almost two years—long enough to have a lot of faith in him. Otherwise I would have perished miserably then.
When the doctor, who was standing at the left side of my bed, started to elaborate on the "facts", my wife Usha, whose presence I now became aware of, interrupted him at once. Smiling bravely at me, she said to me that she had been able to talk to Guru about my accident. His blessingful, compassionate message for me said I shouldn't worry because everything would become again like it was before. This was definitely the happiest moment of my life. Guru's prediction-promise was my blissful salvation. Of course, there were still many tough moments to come, but he would always be there to save me.
During the time at the hospital, I felt like a helpless child lying safely in the arms of his mother. Usha was Guru's faithful messenger. She helped me to keep my focus on Guru amidst all the pain and the doctors' doubting minds.
Some divine miracle-facts: When I had this accident, a nurse was driving behind me. If she hadn't tied off my leg in time, I would have never made it to the hospital alive. Then, during the more than five hours of surgery, the hospital staff were able to trace my wife in Zurich, about 100 miles away. Somehow she managed to arrive at the hospital just in time to stop the doctors from amputating the injured leg. Now they needed her permission. She was able to phone Guru in New York and tell him about the situation. He told her not to allow the amputation and to make sure to be near me when I woke up and to tell me at once that I shouldn't worry.
The next miracle was that the director of the intensive care unit, who was an excellent microsurgeon but on leave from his job at that time, had been visiting the hospital just on the evening I was taken there. Because it was a very serious and complicated case, they had to allow him to operate on me. He was very eager to do an excellent job.
Another miracle was that I wasn't paralysed, because the base of the spine had been totally smashed. During the following years, the feeling in my back, legs and feet recovered completely. Also, I survived a very bad lung embolism that occurred during the surgery and forced the doctors to stop.
Next miracle: the doctors were convinced that I would have to wear this terrible plastic bag for the rest of my life. But fortunately, the microsurgeon's substitute was one of the best colostomy specialists in Europe. He liked me and therefore was inspired to examine me once more. I had to invent quite a few white lies to convince him that it made sense to recommend another surgery. When the microsurgeon heard about that and noticed that the operation was supposed to take place on the first day of his return to work, he decided at once to do it himself. He again did an excellent job. The doctors needed a whole week to decide how to cover the open bone, and in spite of their unconcealed scepticism, the surgery was successful.
Shortly before the accident, Usha and I had missed the registration for the upcoming university semester and, without being aware of it, had also thus lost our health insurance. This meant I would have had to pay more than sixty thousand dollars to the hospital myself. But the insurance company agreed to take Usha back into the health plan and, since we were married, to pay my hospital fees.
The doctors were convinced that I would have to stay in the hospital at least until autumn. But I left in the middle of July, and in August I went on a plane to New York to see Guru—although with crutches and a removable cast. When I left the hospital, some of the doctors and nurses told me how inspired they had been by the wondrous outcome of this "tragic, hopeless case". But they also told me not to expect more—for example, to ever be able to run again. They were convinced that I wouldn't even be able to walk properly.
But less than three years later, on a chilly January morning in New York, Guru's presence helped me win the Rainbow Marathon in a new personal record of 2:55. And only one year later I came in second behind my friend Hutashan at the 47-mile race in a personal record of 5:55.
I'll never forget the silent ecstasy that I felt in the hospital each time I sang the line of the Invocation: "Supreme, I am Thy glowing Grace." And I'll never forget the amazement in the eyes of one of the nurses when she saw me crying during one of my numerous sleepless nights. She came near to console me, only to discover that I was crying with joy—joy because of the sleepless and breathless blessing-guidance of my Guru, which turned this most difficult experience into the most fulfilling period of my life.
Shaktidhar (Zurich)
