Please postpone the surgery

This is one of the stories in our Story-Gems project, a collection of our experiences with our Guru, Sri Chinmoy. Project homepage »

About three years ago, my mother was diagnosed with a very serious form of cancer that was quickly spreading. To be certain, she went for the opinion of three prominent cancer specialists in Puerto Rico. All of them concurred: she definitely had a serious form of cancer.

I became increasingly worried—I love my mother dearly and her suffering and imminent death were torturing my heart. Over the years I have met excellent physicians and naturopaths who have been very successful in treating cancer as well as other so-called “incurable” diseases. It was my hope to bring my mother to New York for such treatment.

Her main physician told her that she needed radiation, chemotherapy and most definitely surgery. I asked my mother to please hold off with all those therapies until I could consult with the doctor I had in mind, and to send me copies of her records. When I read her blood analysis, panic struck me hard, for it became real that my mother was very sick.

I had not wanted to tell Sri Chinmoy anything until I had all the information, but now pressure was mounting, and my mother was scheduled for surgery within a few weeks. Finally, I wrote Sri Chinmoy a letter explaining everything I told him that I love my mother very much and that I was not ready to lose her, but I also told him that I was praying for God’s Victory-Will in whatever form it would express itself.

Sri Chinmoy’s reply came immediately: “Ask her to please postpone the surgery for one month.” I immediately telephoned my mother and pleaded with her to please listen and follow Sri Chinmoy’s advice. She agreed.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I have a cousin who is a very prominent doctor, and he argued that the surgery could not be delayed. He had all the members of my family in Puerto Rico on his side and they pressured my mother to concede. I was devastated. I would call her every day in tears and beg her. My poor mother was confused and frightened. She really wanted to please me by listening to Guru’s advice, but the family pressure was too much for her. So I told her, “Do what you feel you need to do. I love you and will support any decision you take.” This brought her a sense of peace, and she decided to go ahead with the surgery.

The doctor wanted to operate as soon as possible, since he was scheduled to be on board a cruise ship for a three-week vacation. But God had a better plan. My mother was ready to go for surgery in two days, but there were no beds available for about two weeks in any of the hospitals where this particular doctor could practise. Since he was going away for three weeks, the surgery had to be postponed for one month.

One month later, when the doctor came back from his vacation, more tests were done before the surgery. There was no evidence of cancer, not a trace, as if it never happened. The doctors said that all along they must have had the wrong records, the records of another patient.

God and Sri Chinmoy alone know what happened. My mother and family are extremely grateful to Sri Chinmoy and God for this incredible miracle. The other miracle is that whenever my mother sees Sri Chinmoy, she becomes a beautiful child swimming in tears of joy and gratitude. She says,“He is so beautiful!”

A very, very, very strong Force

This is one of the stories in our Story-Gems project, a collection of our experiences with our Guru, Sri Chinmoy. Project homepage »

One day, around 5:30 in the morning, Sri Chinmoy called and said, “O my God! What is happening with Nayak?” Nayak is a fellow student of Sri Chinmoy, and is the leader of the Seattle Sri Chinmoy Centre along with his wife Nandita.

I said,“What is happening, Guru?”

He said, “He is in the hospital. Call and find out what is happening. Something very, very serious — he is very seriously ill.”

Nandita and Nayak
Nandita and Nayak

I called Nandita, and she had just brought Nayak to the emergency room. I called Nayak, and he sounded very weak. He was waiting to be seen. When I told Sri Chinmoy, he asked if I would please go quickly to the hospital. When I saw Nayak, his EKG showed that a very serious myocardial infarction, a heart attack, was actually in progress. The whole left side of his heart was blocked. Nayak looked so ashen — he looked very bad. He was very emotional, and the situation was extremely difficult.

Sri Chinmoy had said to call him as soon as we had any news. So I called and Sri Chinmoy said,“Please tell Nayak I am putting a very, very, very strong force on him. And call me in fifteen minutes.”

I told Nayak and Nandita, and they were very moved. Then the doctors came in. They had drawn blood to see what kind of heart attack it was, and they were looking at the heart tracing on the EKG. Amazingly, after Sri Chinmoy’s call, Nayak started to get better. He started to talk, he was joking, his colour was getting better. The cardiologist was asking the assistants, “Why are you going so slowly?”— but it was because Nayak was doing better. They were sort of joking with him.

The hospital cleared the whole schedule of patients so that Nayak could get a catheterization, the insertion of a tube so they can visualise the heart. The cardiologist was extremely good; it was at the University of Washington Medical Center Hospital, which is the best hospital in the Pacific Northwest. We wanted to stay with Nayak, but they said no, it would be about ten minutes, and then they would do whatever they felt needed to be done

I had called Sri Chinmoy again after 15 minutes, and Sri Chinmoy had said again that he was putting a very, very strong force on Nayak, and by that time, Nayak was actually joking with the doctors. He was looking so good, yet apparently there was a major heart attack going on It was amazing.

After a while, the nurse found us in the waiting room and said, “Okay, now you can see the doctor. The procedure is over ” When we entered the room, the doctor said, “I want to show you something. These are the films we took of Nayak’s heart a year and a half ago. These are the films now. Do you see any difference?” We were looking at the films, and he said, “We did not see any difference. We discussed it. We could not imagine what was going on. We have a mystery here, because here we show signs in the EKG of a major heart attack, and now there is nothing going on inside the heart, and he is doing very wel. ”

I said, “Well, what about the lab tests? Do they show anything?” because you can see from the tests if there is any damage to the heart tissue.

He looked at us and said, “The lab tests are normal. Something is going on!” The doctor was absolutely astounded. So I told him, “We have a meditation Teacher. I don’t know if you believe in prayer.” He smiled and said,“I very much believe in prayer.” We all knew that Sri Chinmoy had saved Nayak’s life. In fact, Sri Chinmoy later told Nayak that if I had delayed contacting Sri Chinmoy for 15 more minutes, Nayak would have had a massive fatal heart attack.

Statue stories

This is one of the stories in our Story-Gems project, a collection of our experiences with our Guru, Sri Chinmoy. Project homepage »

Since Sri Chinmoy’s passing in 2007, more than 40 statues of his likeness have been placed in major cities and remote natural settings around the world.

Many people, especially children, seem to feel a living presence in the statues. Adults have reported feeling inner guidance for a decision or consolation in their grief. A few of their stories follow, as reported by members of the Sri Chinmoy Centre worldwide — just a few glimpses into a spiritual Master’s love and concern that continue long after his earthly life.

A young lady often came to offer owers at the statue in Vienna. She had lost a child and was inconsolable in her grief.  Once when she casually stopped at the statue for a while, she had an unusual experience that changed her life: suddenly she could make an inner connection with her child’s soul and speak with her. She said that this experience happened repeatedly, but only at the statue.

One evening in Seattle, a young girl taking a stroll with her father came very close to the statue, exclaiming,“Daddy, Daddy, he is alive! He is alive!” Her father said,“Dear, it is only a statue.” She came even closer and grasped the torch, then repeated, “No, Daddy! I can see he is alive!”

A sweet Indian boy about three or four years old came to Sri Chinmoy’s statue in Seattle with his father. He gave the statue a big hug, exclaiming “Grampa! Grampa! Grampa!” with boundless joy. We asked him if he would like to give Sri Chinmoy a flower and he was jumping with eagerness. The boy was so happy. Then his father said with a big smile on his face, “We come here every day. Rahul calls Sri Chinmoy ‘Grampa’.”

A woman at the statue in Antarik, a spiritual retreat in the Czech Republic, shared, "When I have a hard time or I need to solve a problem, it helps me if I come and sit at the statue Then the problems either get solved or, if I have to decide something, I know it will be the right decision."

The statue in Antarik in the Czech Republic

A small boy, about four or five years old, ran away from his parents and came to the feet of the statue in Guatemala. He kept repeating, “Mom, I know him, I know him! But when I knew him he was younger ” He grabbed the feet of the statue and said,“I know you!”

The statue by the sea in Mazatlan, Mexico

A few weeks after the dedication ceremony for the statue in Mazatlan, Mexico, fresh flowers began appearing every morning at the statue, which has a panoramic view of the ocean. One woman who was caring for the area was very eager to find out who was bringing the flowers. She kept coming earlier and earlier every day, until finally one morning around 5 a.m. she saw two elderly, weather-hewn Mexican fisherman offering flowers most lovingly. The next day she saw them again and ran up to speak with them.

They explained that they had been fishing near this spot for years, but in the previous year they were unable to make a living because there were so few fish. Only a couple of weeks earlier, they had noticed the statue and had come to see it, bringing flowers and offering a prayer to God to help them.

That very day and ever since, their catch increased dramatically. The men said they had no idea who the man in the statue was, but knew only that he was a great spiritual man who was helping them feed their families.

Three school teachers in Mazatlan, Mexico, had their students form a circle near the statue, asking them to read aloud one of Sri Chinmoy’s aphorisms and reflect on its meaning. The teachers would ask each child,“Have you understood? What does this great sage mean here?” The children would also recite their favorite aphorism, learn it by heart, explain it in their own words and write it in their notebooks. One teacher explained, “The aphorisms are so beautiful! We are taking children to this place so they can see that there are people like this great man who do great things for the world.”

Above: As torrential floods ravaged Prague in 2013, the statue of Sri Chinmoy, serene above the raging waters, appeared repeatedly in many news media photographs around the world as a daily barometer of the rising water levels. The statue became a symbol for all the citizens of Prague who were praying for their beautiful city.

Agraha's stories

Welcome!

Birthday blessings

May 30, 2001, Ottawa, West Block, Parliament Building: The function room was full of flower fragrances and divine grace. We had just had a special blessing from our Guru: his visit to Ottawa and his offering of a special concert in the Centre Block of Canada’s Parliament Buildings. I had been asked to be the Master of Ceremonies, so had to dress appropriately. I don’t usually wear a suit and necktie, but I did for this occasion. During the day, Guru offered a minute of silence, and then we heard the Invocation being played on the bells of the Parliament’s carillon. We were all so proud, and, needless to say, Guru was happy.

That evening, when the official ceremony was over and outside visitors had left, there must have been approximately 200 disciples remaining in the concert hall. Guru called me to stand in front of him. Why, I was not sure. Maybe because my birthday was the next day? As I stood at his feet, with 200 disciples behind me, he simply said one word to the disciples: "Sing." And then my brothers and sisters started singing his divine birthday song: Happy birthday to you... we love your soul’s rainbow-dream-promise-play. The blessings he showered me with are just beyond words. I was in tears, tears of gratitude, tears of joy. My heart was simply melting. Guru’s face was shining, his smile beaming. I smiled at the Avatar meditating on my soul. This was such an eternal moment! These minutes alone were worth every effort, every tear, every struggle of my life.

After what seemed like an eternity of blessings, as I was returning to my seat, Guru asked: "How old are you, Utsahi?"

Don’t ask me why or how, but the following answer came out of my heart: "It depends, Guru. When I am my regular old self, I am 56; but when I am in your heart, I am your seven-year-old boy."

"Always be a seven-year-old!" Guru replied.

Then he went on, imploring all of us to remain in a seven-year-old state of consciousness. I wish I had the transcript of this message. It was so sweet, so inspiring – the Avatar blessing me and telling me what to do in order to remain in a divine consciousness. To reach our journey’s goal, we simply need to be like a child, to be a seven-year-old. This was another one of the many blessings received on the occasion of my soul’s day. Over the years, I have been blessed with many moments of this nature, where time stops and nothing else matters but the moment of divine transfusion of energy.


Here is another one of these precious moments - I wrote this after returning home from Guru's house on June 10th 2005.

I have just come back from Guru’s house. He celebrated my 60th birthday tonight. I had arrived in New York last Tuesday, taking a few days off work for the occasion. I had travelled by train from Ottawa. This train ride was a dream come true for me; for many years I had dreamed of making this trip through the Adirondacks and then along the Hudson River before entering New York.

I had put on my cleanest white shirt and tried to be in my best consciousness... and there I was, a few feet away from our beloved Master. Around midnight, he called the television program we were all watching to a halt and said: "Utsahi, come!" And, as before, as I stood there in front of him, he simply said: "Sing." Guru started his meditation with his eyes closed, getting into a state of trance that is impossible to imagine, let alone describe. Even though I could hear the girls and the boys singing, "We love your soul’s rainbow-dream..." I was drawn in by Guru’s radiating face, his eyes turning upwards, his smile divine... And I tried my best to respond, to offer him my gratitude, my all, to be in harmony with him, as much as I could. After a while, his face changed; his smile transformed from a reflexive one to one that was totally divine. So again, I smiled.

And a line from Guru’s divine poem, "I Sing, I Smile" came to my heart: Because You play on the flute I have become Your flute. 1

Dearest Guru, why do you love me? This is the question I would like to ask you. Why is it that you love me the way you do, with all your heart, all your soul, with such a smile? Just the call tonight, informing me that you had received the flowers I sent you, with my little card, where I had written: "Gratitude, dearest Guru, for all your protection, your blessings during the past 60 years..." (I should have added: "...and joy." But it was too late... the flowers and card had already gone.)

After his blessings, Guru said, twice: "I am very proud of you, Utsahi." It was so nice to  hear these words. And then he offered me a gift: a glass effigy of his face and a very nice shirt – blue and white. These were both awesome gifts; but even aside from the gifts, the very idea of receiving a gift from Guru’s hand is so special. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude... "

Then Guru said: "I also want to take your picture. As he was taking his camera, I was totally in bliss. The gift was in one hand, the other hand was on my heart.

And then Guru asked me to take prasad first. I left the house in bliss. I was not walking home, I was flying. So many blessings received! So much love! What a divine boost of energy!


How many times in these past years have I felt an elevated state of happiness that is beyond words? I simply cannot express them. Here is another one of these unique moments: I did not know it then, but when I offered the following poem to Guru on May 31st, 2007, it was to be the last time he celebrated my birthday at his house. After taking the time to read this poem as part of a card I had offered him, he asked me to read it to everyone present:

Between 7 and 62

Lord, I am a mere grain of sand
In your divine garden.
Why do you value
This simple grain of sand?
Why?

Lord, I am a single atom
In your eternal temple.
Why do you seem to treasure
Such a little particle?

Why?
Lord, I am the frailest rose
Of your eternal dream.
How did this flower ever bloom
Inside your cosmic vision?
How?

Who can appreciate such mysteries?
Who deserves such an invitation?
Who can express true gratitude?
Who can simply treasure
The smile of your silent response?
Who?

And the eternal echo of endless time
Whispers:
You... You... You

In Oneness,
With Gratitude,
My heart prays to remain
Eternally at your feet!

Your little sun, Utsahi

  • 1. Sri Chinmoy, My Flute, New York: Agni Press, 1972, #55.

My spiritual heart specialist

This is one of the stories in our Story-Gems project, a collection of our experiences with our Guru, Sri Chinmoy. Project homepage »

As a medical doctor, I have often been in the intensive care unit. Once the Supreme also wanted me to get to know the other side. And so it happened that I found myself in this unit with a fellow sufferer next to me. He was in a deep coma and his chest was rising and falling in perfect time to the rhythm of the respirator, producing a hissing sound. This mechanical sound was intermittently complemented by a gurgling caused by the extraction of mucus from his lungs. The poor fellow wasn’t able to swallow any more either. He was receiving medication by intravenous infusion and I could tell by the electrocardiogram on the control screen that his heart could say good-bye anytime. He seemed to be a cardiac patient who had suffered an embolic stroke.

Now there I was, hooked up to infusions and monitors myself. Out of the blue my heart had gone berserk, so I landed in the hospital, where they finally moved me into the cardiac intensive care unit to better supervise all the medical experiments to be carried out on me. Being a professional doctor, I could easily interpret the graph that was bouncing on the monitor over my head: my two ventricles had started to fall out of sync and beat totally independently from each other.

This condition diminishes heart effciency and, more importantly, it induces the great risk of thrombosis with an ensuing brain embolism (a blood clot in the brain) The latter may occur after a period of 48 hours and results in a hemiplegic stroke, with the possible outcome of being unable to swallow or to speak or to think, or even death. These embolisms tend to appear particularly at the stage where your heartbeat normalises. So, after this 48-hour period elapses, it is above all extremely dangerous trying to convert the heartbeat to a normal rhythm. The doctor in charge had never in his whole life seen this condition in someone of my age.

The doctors used massive drug injections in the hope of talking my heart out of the fuss it made. For one of those many injections, they required my explicit consent — there was a risk involved, they said. Right after the jab, I briefly lost consciousness, and when I came round again, I was hot all over and my heart was pounding like mad. Unfortunately, this treatment involving heavy medication was as ineffective as all the other attempts. All the treatments of the doctors were not only in vain, but quite a few injections did not even go successfully into the veins as they were supposed to, as doctors usually become quite nervous as soon as they have to give an injection to another doctor.

The first effective medicine I received came from my “spiritual heart specialist” in the form of the following message: “I am all concern, all my blessings and love.” From one moment to the next, all of my worries almost completely disappeared and a deep peace unfolded in my being.

I told Sri Chinmoy about this episode later on, and he commented: “Your worries were gone the moment you let me know, but then your problems were passed on to me In the inner world I saw a paralysing force fast approaching you.” Sri Chinmoy had only been informed that I was having troubles with my heart; he was never outwardly told that I could become paralysed as a result.

Since various medications failed to take effect, they wanted to take me to the operating room for a final attempt to stabilise my heartbeat with electroshocks under general anaesthesia. Time was ticking away and 48 hours had nearly elapsed. I was scheduled to be transferred to the operating room on Sunday at 2 p.m. There was no effective drug level in my body any longer in order to prepare me for the operation.

Now the time had come for my spiritual heart specialist to intervene. At 1:57 p.m. , out of the blue, for some mysterious reason, in absolute silence, my heartbeat returned to a normal rhythm. With every beat of my heart I had to fight back tears of relief and gratitude.

From a spiritual point of view, the experience I went through while I was in intensive care was very good for me. I realized how Sri Chinmoy secretly and silently comes to our rescue every day in any part of the world.

My heart
Is made of my Lord’s
Concern-Breath.

Sri Chinmoy 1

Your little sun

After some years on the path, I took the liberty of sending Guru some poems I wrote, expressions of my heart-felt sentiments. At the end of each, I liked to sign: “Your little son, Utsahi," reminding myself at the same time as him that I am his seven-year-old boy and that I have adopted him as my spiritual father.

Furthermore, when I felt that I could, in my own little way, lighten Guru’s load of problems, I would make a little play on words and sign: “Your little sun, Utsahi" with the intention of offering a ray of sunshine to his life of tremendous responsibilities. My heart and soul were inviting me to be a little ray of sun in Guru’s life.


I had gotten into the habit of offering a message of gratitude to Guru every time I left New York. And over time, I had learned that Guru cherished these little notes. One time, I offered a short poem to Guru for Father’s Day. It read like this:

Today and every day, the little son in me
Joyfully bows to the divine Father in you.
Today and every day, the seven-year-old in me
Loves to play the divine game with the eternal son in you.

I expressed my devotion to him, and at the same time the seven-year-old Utsahi candidly wanted to play with him.

What poetry and dreams can do! Approximately a month later, I was once more in New York. At the start of the Sunday afternoon function, Guru asked Paree about a song. She then distributed a sheet of paper to everyone present and taught the audience this new song.

It took me a minute to realize that this was the poem that I had offered to Guru! He had put the words to music and asked for all of the disciples present to sing this song.

Utsahi with Sri Chinmoy - both of them are holding the music to the song

I was shocked to hear one of my little poems transformed into a song by Guru. To this day, I love to sing this song; it gives me a seven-year-old joy!