Since Guru’s passing our life has changed 180 degrees in every way. Hiranmoyi and I have had to make many major life-decisions, without the benefit of Guru’s outer advice (which Hiranmoyi always sought at every moment on every subject).

Words could not even describe the most amazing ways in which Guru has communicated to us both, simultaneously, through light whenever we have had to make an important decision. Not once or twice, but dozens of times over the past few years, Guru has been communicating through his love and his light in a very tangible and visible fashion, to both of us at the same time.

Guru’s light and guidance is never far from his disciples’ crying hearts, and when we are in need he is always there. We could write a book of beautiful stories about how he has let his presence be known and his wishes be known in an unmistakable way (but people would probably just say it is our mental hallucination – so perhaps it’s best to keep that book unpublished!).

Thank you, Guru, for being so close when we have needed you in so many ways.

Nowadays I have new physical joys and challenges. As Guru always said, "Never Give Up!". Right now as I sit celebrating my 79th birthday, I try to remain a child at heart.

There is an old saying, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away", but in my case I welcomed the doctors that were sent my way. And in fact, in each case the Supreme made it clear that they were sent to play a specific role in my recovery because of their spiritual roots. Firstly, when I broke my hip and was trying to get into the rehabilitation hospital, the key doctor who made it possible turned out to be a close relative of a former disciple who had swum the Channel the same year that I did and whom I considered a friend.

Once I got into the next place, a young doctor with very long hair and a beautiful face became a daily visitor in my room, discussing all matters of spirituality. Both he and I waited with bated breath for our moments of inspiration. He recognized the Jharna-Kala pictures and the pictures of Guru in my room, because he and his wife were vegetarians and had frequented the Lotus-Heart-Blossoms restaurant here, and his wife played Guru’s music in her yoga classes. The doctor had already, before he met me, obtained a recording of Guru reciting Everest-Aspiration, and he found it very deeply moving. The doctor had been hoping to start painting as a hobby, and for Christmas he sent me his first painting, which he said was inspired as he was listening to Everest-Aspiration. He attributed his beautiful painting to the blessings of meeting us and to the blessings of Guru.

In the continuing saga of spiritual doctors sent my way, the next doctor that was assigned to me said, “This is a Sri Chinmoy room,„ when she saw all the Jharna-Kala and Guru’s pictures. As it turned out, she had a very close association with our Centre several years ago. Can you imagine this – all the doctors that were sent my way had some close connection with Guru! I can only imagine the blessings they have received from Guru for their kindness to me.

If it hadn’t been for Hiranmoyi’s mom and dad, I don’t know where we would be today. If you want to talk about beautiful and divine stories, then there are no other people that deserve being part of this book more than Hiranmoyi’s mom and dad. Some of you may recall the story in one of Guru’s books of how Guru met Hiranmoyi’s mom, dad and sister at the Taj Mahal on one of Guru’s trips to India.

A young Western woman came over to greet me, and told me that her sister Susan was my disciple. We have quite a few Susans on our path, so I asked, “Susan who?”

The answer came: “Susan Elliott.”

I know my disciples’ first names, but their surnames only God knows! “Who is Susan Elliott?” I asked myself.

Fortunately, the young woman added, “She is from Canada.”

Something within me said perhaps it was Susan and Vince. In the meantime Ranjana came over to me with the other woman. It turned out I was right, and this woman was Susan’s mother.

I told her mother, “Susan is very dear and close to me.”

Her mother corrected me, “You mean Susan and Vince!”

I said, “Yes, both Susan and Vince are very dear to me.”

She was thrilled and excited to have met me there, and I too was very happy.

Over the years the disciples have given me thousands of gifts - good or bad, beautiful or ugly. But I remembered that a few years ago Susan’s mother had sent Susan a shawl from India, which she had asked Susan to give me. I was blessing myself for remembering this! So I thanked her for the gift she had sent through her daughter. She was very happy.

Then she introduced me to her husband. While she was introducing me, she was so happy, thrilled and excited, but the husband - I have to be very frank - was stiff and uneasy; he was a little scared.

Susan’s younger sister, Amy, was so happy and excited because she was the one who had been able to recognise me. How? Susan had sent her my picture. If she had sent the transcendental picture, perhaps her sister would not have recognised me. But Susan had sent a picture of me with my dogs, and Amy immediately recognised me from that picture. So you see, my transcendental picture is not the only one to send people. If you send more ordinary pictures, then immediately people can recognise me.

Can you imagine? Susan’s family happened to be there on the same day and at the same hour as we were. Credit goes to my dogs, to Susan for sending the picture and to her sister, Amy.

Afterwards, Ranjana took a group picture of us, and then we all shook hands. Then Susan’s father wanted to take a picture. While he was taking the picture, his consciousness started changing. He started to relax. After he took the picture, he was a totally different man - smiling and beaming with joy.

Sri Chinmoy
story told on 4 April 19831

After I broke my hip, Alan and Sylvia jumped into the fray with such kind, caring and never-ending self-offering to try to help me maximize my potential and help Hiranmoyi help me. Alan, who is a practicing physician, consulted with everyone he could and encouraged me like anything with exercises, crosswords and daily motivational pep talks to be sure I would keep moving forward. He sent messages to me that sounded exactly like what Guru would say to me under the circumstances. Alan would tell me to imagine the determination and will that it took when I set foot in the waters of Dover ready to swim the Channel. He acted like my coach every time I saw him.

Sylvia, who is a real sweetheart, stayed by my side for hours talking to me about beautiful things while Hiranmoyi took rest. For months now, she has been baking for me my favorite spinach casserole and anything else that I like in order to make me happy and prevent me from losing any more weight. At times, she would look through Guru’s books and find poems or phrases that she thought would inspire me and then she would read them to me. Hiranmoyi, her mom and dad and I have been a real team – a divinely inspired team. Her parents are the most youthful, enthusiastic, spontaneous people in the whole world and they continue to make the loop to Kingston several times a month to bring me joy.

Whatever spiritual blessings are floating around the universe, I know they have already found their way to "Mom and Dad" a million times over!

There is only one way I can look at my current situation: everything outer comes and goes. Our friends, our families, our physical strength and so on, all come and go. Even our ability to do the basic things of life that we always take so much for granted, like walking, eating and talking, may come and go. However, it is very interesting to be in the situation that I am in right now, where all of these physical things that I have always taken for granted, and so valued, are gradually (or not so gradually) being taken away from me. So much that I always have relied upon is gone.

Only one thing remains for me: my love of Guru remains as my beacon of light through my waking hours (and hopefully in my sleep). I have a DVD of Guru's Jharna-Kala artwork playing non-stop in my room when no other DVD is on, with Guru’s music in the background. That is what I love most in my life. Guru and his music and his love for me and my love for him is what I now have. That is how kind Guru has been to me. He has taken away everything else and given me his all. I really do feel like a seven-year-old boy of the Supreme.

When we were brand-new disciples, Hiranmoyi had a dream in which Guru and I were wearing colored turbans, riding side by side on horseback. In the dream, Guru turned to ride up a hill and he called out to me, “Follow me." I figure that I have been following Guru, my eternal friend, for some time now. This time round he has taken me on the ride of a lifetime.

Thank you, Guru, for making everything perfect for me in every way. I shall follow you eternally wherever you lead me, with deepest gratitude to my Master, my friend, my all.

I am your
Trishakash

• 1. Sri Chinmoy, The world-experience-tree-climber, part 2, Agni Press, 1993