I could sing and dance for pure joy

I can tell you the outer circumstances about how I came to the path. At the time, I was studying music, studying grand piano. I just got the feeling that I should learn to meditate because that would help me with my piano performance. This was in 1982. It was my final year of music study. I got the feeling that I should find somewhere to learn to meditate, I should look in the newspaper and that there would be an advertisement for meditation classes.

So, I looked in the paper and there were two advertisements for meditation groups. One of the groups was much closer to my house and it was called the Sri Chinmoy Centre, which I had never heard of. But because it was close to me, that's the one I went to. The disciples later told me that they only ever placed one advertisement in the newspaper. That was the only time they ever put an advertisement in the newspaper. That was the day I got the idea that I must look in the newspaper to find an advertisement.

So, I was coming to meditation classes for nearly six months. I was not looking for a Guru or a spiritual master or a spiritual path. It never occurred to me that these things were important. But I was enjoying coming to the Centre and I was enjoying reading Guru's writings and listening to Guru’s music. More and more, this was becoming a very important part of my life.

The disciples even said to me, “Oh, you should send your photograph to Guru and apply to become a disciple.” But I said, “No, I don't need that. That's not important.” That just shows you how stupid and how ignorant I actually was!

One day, Guru was going to phone the Centre. All the disciples from around Australia came to Canberra for this phone call, which was only for disciples. But the Centre leader at that time got inspired to invite me to come to the telephone call. He asked, “Would you like to come and hear Sri Chinmoy speak on the phone?” I said, “Yes, of course.”

When Guru phoned, he spoke to every disciple individually. And to each disciple, he gave a special message and his blessings. Everything was on the loudspeaker telephone so you could hear everything Guru was saying to each person.

When Guru had spoken to every disciple, then Guru said, “Is anybody else there?” There should not have been anyone else there because it should only have been disciples. So, I came to the phone and introduced myself. I said my name and that I had been coming to meditation classes. Then I waited for Guru to say something, because for every disciple, Guru gave a message, he spoke something personal. But in my case, absolute silence. Guru did not say a word.

There was this long silence, and I became a little uncomfortable. I did not know what I was supposed to do. I felt I had to break this silence. I had to say something. But what do you say to a spiritual master? So, I said the only thing that came into my head. I said to Guru, “I want to become your disciple,” because that was the only thing that I thought you should say to a spiritual master. Then Guru ended his silence. He chanted a very long “Aum” and said, “I accept you as a true disciple of mine.”

My mind was immediately confused. I said, “Where on earth did that question come from? I never, never wanted this. I've been tricked!” But at the same time, I was extremely happy, more that I had ever felt in my life. It was as though the weight of my whole life was taken from my shoulders and I felt like I could sing and dance for pure joy.

O Yogi of the highest magnitude, initiate me.
Today offer me Your initiation.
Today I shall learn the immortal message of transformation from You.
I shall not wander any more in the farthest corners of the world.
I shall only dance in the city of the heart.
Inside the city of my heart
I shall sing songs of Love Divine
And I shall see myself in the mirror of my sanctified heart.
Today I beg of You to offer me only one thing: silence, silence.
O Yogi of the highest magnitude, initiate me today.
(Translation of song “He Jogiraj dikkha amai”)

Sri Chinmoy 1

• 1. Garden of love-light, part 2, Aum Press, Puerto Rico, 1975