In the first year of my PhD I became Sri Chinmoy's student. Prior to that I had completed a BSc, an MSc and had worked for a little over a year at MAF Technology (Ruakura) as a senior research associate.

It was at that time that I met and became closely involved in the study of what was to become my PhD research topic, which was looking at endocrine systems to ascertain aspects of the physiology of bone development in growing mammals. Thus I found myself armed with a new and exciting research topic and enrolled at the University of Waikato, with a prestigious scholarship from MAF Technology, in whose modern-ish laboratories I was to perform the research, and where I had allocated office space and access to a well-equipped scientific research library. Brilliant!

However my family circumstances were in the throes of upheaval. All four of my grandparents, as well as my Nana's mother (my great-grandmother) had just up and died and my uncle – a very wise and kind man to whom we all looked for guidance at this time – was stricken with leukaemia. Several months before he died he advised us to learn how to meditate. He said that, "Meditation brings you close to God!" So my mother and I both attended free meditation classes that were being offered as a community service by the Sri Chinmoy Centre. And we enjoyed them so much, we joined the Centre ourselves!

When my uncle died he left us to the guidance of the wise, kind and universal philosophy of Sri Chinmoy, with which we have been happy and safe for many years now. But I digress... this is really a story about my studies and how meditation augmented and ultimately completed my research.

Every Sunday afternoon for more than three years I would drive to Auckland from Hamilton (which took 1 hour and 47 minutes), attend meditation night at the Centre, and drive back late at night. Over these three years I also went to New York several times to attend Sri Chinmoy's special celebrations, which were most funfilled and fulfilling events.

At this point I had better mention that these trips were much against my main PhD supervisor's advice and wishes! He felt that they were fruitless exercises and were distractions from the main focus of my life, which he felt was my budding scientific career. At one stage he called me into his office to rant at me about it! I calmly pointed out that these trips had not slowed my studies down, and I had also always met my work deadlines – and he had to agree! This was a small victory. I had noticed changes, though, with the passing of time. My focus shifting off my direct studies had side effects that I could never have imagined had I been outside of the situation. I found my perspective clarified and I became more liberal in my technical discussions and in decisions regarding my research directions – and I started coming across as a flexible and (in some instances) clever thinker! In short, my meditation life made me more philosophical, and as I was studying for a Doctorate of Philosophy degree, this was very useful.

However the full meditation-derived benefits to my study came as the end of my research drew near early in 1994 when thesis writing (sketchily begun as research was carried out) began in earnest. For any research project (or degree involving one) there is not really any clear end, what with new avenues of research developing and suggesting themselves, as the main line of research grows and evolves. The project itself is usually not clearly set out at the beginning as, with progress, results determine further directions, in which way the study takes form. The end of a fruitful project - like the one I was working on - was when enough data had accumulated for a sizeable thesis.

However I had reached the end of the time for the research grant under the terms of the MAF scholarship, and I was also scheduled to go to New York for 12 days in April, which was one week away. I had worked hard to complete the comprehensive requirements for laboratory work so as to be at leisure to write the thesis intensively when I got back – freshly inspired – from overseas. How wrong could I be? My supervisor called me into his office (uh oh) and Laid Down The Law! He told me that if I went away at this point (when he felt I needed to focus for a few months on intensive thesis writing) my grant (already near the end) would be terminated and there would no longer be office space for me when I returned!! (Talk about a Drama King!) His intention was to pressurise me to cancel my trip to New York so that I would not lose my "Focus" on the project, in which MAF had a vested interest.

I was silent in that meeting, knowing that my whole career was on the line. On the line also was a post-doctoral fellow position at the University of West Virginia that I was negotiating for and which would be secured should I successfully finish my PhD within the next couple of months. Unknown to my supervisor I was also extremely reluctant to cancel my trip to New York – in fact, that was not an option. My sense of values had changed regarding what was important to me, and this trip to New York was. I viewed the trip as beneficial to myself personally, as well as to my work, in a way that I was not ready to impart to my supervisor, whose values were not the same. So I went home and prayed. Actually, I prayed really hard – a fervent and sincere prayer – asking for guidance and strength as I was about to forfeit everything I had ever worked for. If it was indeed God's Will then the whole PhD thesis would have to be written in less than a week (which is impossible!) or I would have to walk away from everything, here and now. (I was praying for the surrender and peace of mind to do this very thing, for the thesis writing task was actually impossible.)

HOWEVER – and very suddenly – a Fire (for want of a better word) lit inside of me – very intense, very concentrated. I was drawn up as if by an unseen Hand and started to type frantically. I was focused and absolutely clear, fast and accurate, and the thesis started to form beneath my flying fingers. I filled up disks with information, correctly typed and formatted, and discussions and theories – as well as stored information from my brain – were lucidly and effortlessly discussed and retrieved. New concepts (that would never normally have occurred to me) were thrown about with ease and a comprehensive and complicated scientific document formed. Do not be deceived – this did not happen in a couple of hours – it happened over five days and five nights. Data and information were collated from MAF and the University and diagrams and photographic illustrations were also assembled from different places. All the time, at every second, my whole being was filled with the same, unabated level of intensity and purpose that guided me – and in that short time, my thesis became ready to submit! The Impossible had occurred. What should, by rights, have taken months instead took days. What is more, during this time (since the Fire took over) there was no sleep. I worked the whole time and there was no tiredness, even though I never lay down or rested for over 120 hours. Indeed, I felt refreshed! But it was as if I was just watching the whole procedure, fascinated. And here comes the icing on the cake – my supervisor was impressed by it and said that it was the best PhD thesis to have come out of his department to date! And some of the discussion points – he said also – were brilliant!

When I read the thesis myself a couple of months later (before my oral exams) I marvelled at the well-rounded and clever conclusions that had been drawn, the extrapolations from the information garnered during research were extraordinary and left me breathless. I know that I was not responsible for producing that superb piece of work. I just observed whilst it was being assembled. I am not being humble or modest when I say that I personally was not up to that standard scientifically – I am merely stating the truth. For some reason this work was meant to be done and – for want of a better description of proceedings – my being was just an instrument.

After my oral exams were successfully behind me and the PhD degree conferred, I then walked away from that particular career and embarked upon another. People ask how on earth I could become a café worker after doing top-level scientific research and that I must miss it... but no! I have never had a pang or looked back. The café I work in, The Blue Bird, is no ordinary place – it is a place that tries to offer a tiny bit of Sri Chinmoy's world to everyone who enters it. His music, philosophy and meditation can be heard, seen and felt in the ambience of spirituality that we try to create there.

The sudden loss of my close-knit and loving family no doubt changed my perspective on life, and my mother and I found comfort in the all-embracing philosophy of Sri Chinmoy. Everyone in the world is your brother or sister and there is a universal thread of unity and oneness in everyone and everything that is none other than God. This is God's Playground and He is always there, but unobserved. However, in your direst moments of absolute need, He may reveal Himself, and moments like that leave you changed forever. That there is disharmony amongst the people of the world means that there is much work to do. However small or menial my current work is, it does in a small part address the disharmony of the world, and this has been a more rewarding and fulfilling turn to my career than I can express.

What is meditation?

Most of us have had meditative moments at some time in our lives often without realising what they are – moments when all the usual preoccupations and thoughts of the mind fall away, leaving us with an experience of calm, clarity, delight. Perhaps you were walking along the seashore and in that moment of nothing to do, nowhere to go, surrounded by the vastness of ocean and sky you experienced the silence of pure consciousness, the stillness of the self within.

Such moments offer glimpses, as though through a small clear window, into a deeper part of our being. Meditation is the attempt to uncover all of these qualities within us, to penetrate beyond the mind to gain an awareness of who we really are.

"Meditation is absolutely necessary for those who want to have a better and more fulfilling life. If you feel that you are satisfied with what you have and what you are then you need not enter into the field of meditation. But if you feel that there is a barren desert deep inside your heart, then meditation is the answer. Meditation will give you inner joy and peace of mind."

Sri Chinmoy

Most of us think of ourselves in terms of personality, profession, body and mind, large or small, but these aspects mask a deeper reality – for we are not just a human being having a spiritual experience but a spiritual being having a human experience.

Most forms of meditation have this belief in our divine potential as a starting point, and then follow a method to reveal and develop it.

There are often misconceptions about meditation, and topics like kundalini, astral travel, ESP, occult and psychic powers, clairvoyance and levitation have become associated with meditation in a misleading way. For these pursuits are like kindergarten toys when compared to the benefits and joys of pure meditation, which has as its primary motive the discovery of our higher nature, our soul's vastness and joy, the divine within us.

When the soul's will power is expressed, it is like a huge wave in the sea. Immediately it inundates the entire consciousness. Once the soul's will is expressed, you are bound to feel that your inner consciousness is inundated with divine energy, inner joy, inner delight, inner power and confidence. Everything negative is swept away by the surge of the soul's force.

Sri Chinmoy

We begin meditation with a variety of different motives – to relax more, to sleep better, to overcome stress or personal difficulties, to explore more of our inner life – but along the way find that we have embarked upon an immense journey. For meditation is the expansion of our consciousness and there is no end to the progress we can make.

Many other seekers have passed this way before us, some journeying to the farthest frontiers of self-awareness. These inner travellers are the spiritual masters, the mystics and pathfinders who appear in every age to guide and inspire humanity. Like expert climbers who have reached the highest peaks, they come back down to guide us quickly and safely to our own highest heights. Sri Chinmoy is such a guide, a spiritual master who has explored the furthest realms of consciousness. His teachings on meditation offer a profound wisdom and a guiding light to truth seekers everywhere who seek a higher and more fulfilling life.

When you begin learning meditation, don't simply meditate to have nice experiences. Meditate to make progress in your life journey, to nourish and foster your spiritual growth, no matter how long it takes, and to deepen your soul’s conscious oneness with realise God. Like a fruit slowly ripening on a tree, the benefits of your practise will mature and ripen and one day manifest themselves in all aspect of your life. Have patience, determination, discipline.

When learning how to meditate, you must learn first how to concentrate, to bring the energies of the mind to focus on a single point like a magnifying glass harnessing the sun. Simply to still the mind for a few minutes is difficult. Try it! More than ever before you will become aware of how busy the mind is – like a river flowing by, a river of thoughts, daydreams, fantasies, desires, memories. There are breathing techniques, mantras, visualisations and other techniques to help in this process. Meditation follows quietly in the wake of these skills, which lay the foundations. We tend to look for spectacular results, to evaluate our progress, but each attempt at meditation is itself progress – rather like running a marathon, each step we take is bringing us closer to our final goal. Resistance and difficulties are a natural part of our struggle to make progress – they are the limitations of our consciousness which we are trying to transcend.

Self mastery and God discovery are the only two things that each human being on earth must take seriously.
Everything else can be taken lightly.

Sri Chinmoy

If you learn to meditate, there are many benefits. You will have more dynamism and energy, more joy in your life, more capacity to cope with this world. You may suddenly need less sleep, and yet sleep better; have more awareness and compassion for others; lose your anger, aggression and frustration or your insecurity and fear. You will slowly gain access to your soul's qualities, which are all perfection, and feel yourself guided from within. Your whole life will begin to change. Your practise of meditation is also the highest thing you can do for others.

People often ask about the merits of following a spiritual path, or whether it is necessary to have an advanced teacher or guru. There are many paths to the top of the mountain and you need to feel with your heart which particular path is meant for you. Certainly if you wish to move quickly in your spiritual journey the support of a group and a living meditation master is an immense advantage. If you wish to fly a plane, learn to use a computer, become a doctor or physicist, you accept a teacher till your own proficiency is established – how long would it take you to master these skills without one?

Realising your highest potential is far more difficult than any of these and a spiritual master will dramatically accelerate your progress; his or her role is to inspire, awaken your aspiration and hunger, remind you of your real purpose and undertake the responsibility of leading you to your highest potential. "Our goal," my own teacher Sri Chinmoy writes, "is always to go Beyond, Beyond, Beyond. There are no limits to our capacity because we each have the infinite divine within us." Once you enter into your teacher's boat, then it is the problem of the boatman to take you to the golden shore.

If you have not meditated before try this simple exercise: find a quiet place in your house where you will be undisturbed for the next ten minutes, remove your shoes and sit with your spine reasonably straight. Simply notice your breathing for a few minutes and when your mind is calmer breathe in peace, a feeling of serenity and calm and imagine all your restlessness and negative qualities leaving you. Don't be disturbed by external sounds – these will always be there – just dive within. Cultivate an absolute stillness in your body, mind and breath. Let your mind be like a calm clear sky; if thoughts come don't attach any significance to them. If you can empty your mind even for a short while you will feel more peaceful and meditative. With practice all your life can be your meditation.

But you have to make a start!

Every story needs a beginning so this one will begin in 1989. It will chronicle a family crisis – or rather a series of family crises – culminating in the annihilation of two entire generations of my family in a relatively short length of time! But I am getting ahead of myself.

Four generations of my family in one place...