You Try, You Try

The mind's stupidity seems to know no rest, and the life's ingratitude seems to know no bounds. I suppose I am speaking for myself, because after being a disciple for 21 years, after Guru saved my life and showered love and concern on me for all those years, I left the path. Eight months later, Guru forgivingly and compassionately allowed me to return. Though I threw myself into Centre activities and was happy to be back, I felt somewhat disconnected from the Centre and from Guru. I did not worry at first and figured it was just a matter of time before I felt reconnected. But several months later I still did not feel my consciousness was in line with Guru and the disciples. I became quite worried and was thinking, "My God, I wonder if I will ever really make it back to the path." Soon after, I was at Wards Island for the end of our ten-day race. As I took prasad, from deep within I felt an urgent prayer, "Please do not let me fail you." The next morning, when I was meditating on Guru's Transcendental photograph, I felt a distinct shift in my consciousness; I almost heard a click as my consciousness seemed to "click" into place. I looked at Guru's photograph and said, "Guru, I am finally back!" A couple of hours later, Ashrita phoned and said, "Guru said to tell you that your victory is his victory." Ashrita also informed me that Guru had asked him to get a plane ticket for me so that I could go to California the following month when Guru went to the Masters Games. Seven months later at a function on the Christmas trip, I told this story. Guru said, "One hundred percent true! See, I still have two cents worth of occult power." The following morning I was standing in our hotel restaurant when Guru came up to me. With a look so powerful and so full of love that I was both startled and moved, Guru said, "So, Niriha, you are trying to increase the disciples' faith in me. Good! You try, you try."

Niriha (New York)