Garland

Sometimes after achieving a certain spiritual height, when I would feel that I was really aspiring, I would slip and find myself at the bottom again. Then the frustration of knowing that I had made myself fall would often leave me in a very sad mood. Such was this day, many years ago. On that day I went to rake leaves at Guru's house. Guru came out onto the porch, called my name and said "Hello" with a wave of his hand and his divine smile. Usually I would never see him when I went to rake, so this filled me with joy and consolation. Later that day I was making a garland for Guru to wear that night—he was to give a talk at Barnard College on the Vedas. I had some roses which were fully bloomed, and even though I knew they might drop some of their petals, I decided to use them. I just imagined someone seeing Guru for the first time, and as Guru was walking, the garland would be shedding petals, and this seeker would pick one up and cherish it forever. That night at Barnard, before the lecture, Guru was sitting alone in the back reading, but the whole hall was flooded with light and peace. As I sat down, I felt his force acting within my heart, inspiring me, even though I was not in a good consciousness. I closed my eyes, and soon I felt like I was climbing upwards within a vast light. I was very moved. I had not meditated so well in many months. In the joy of my meditation, I suddenly felt something brush by me. I assumed that someone was trying to get past my aisle seat, and their clothes were brushing against me. I opened my eyes to find Guru dropping his coat on my lap; he wanted me to hold it for him during his lecture. His compassion, his love and concern for me, even when I felt I had not been doing well, was very moving. His coat was like a blessing—it tingled with spirit. After the talk, Guru walked up to me, gave me a beautiful smile and took his coat. While he was turning to leave, a flower fell from his garland and landed at my feet, and I realised that I was the person whom I had imagined that afternoon.

Kanan (New York)