What I had been searching for
by Sarita Earp
It probably all started consciously when I was nine years old. I was inspired to go to church every week. As my family slept I dressed myself in Sunday clothes and went to the closest church – not Anglican, which my family was, but it was close to walk to. When I was 16 years old, I was still attending church. One Sunday during a prayer, my inner voice cried, "I want to understand!"
Over the next six years, I was seeking and at the same time trying to be happy in all the usual outer ways. During university I became interested in meditation and took a course. When I was 21, my inner voice told me that if I was not happy then I would never be happy.
The search continued, but obviously it was not yet my time. They say when the disciple is ready the Master appears. After a year travelling in Europe, I was working in a café in a tiny Swiss village. One day in the mail I received two letters from two sets of friends – the first I had heard from these friends since I had left Nova Scotia. When I opened the letters, I was astonished to read that both sets of friends had Gurus! The first Guru did not resonate with me, but when Sri Chinmoy's picture fell out of the second letter, I reacted strongly to it. And when they said their Guru was Sri Chinmoy, I said to myself, "I wonder if he could be my Guru?" Then my mind responded, "You have to find your own Guru."
Later, however, when I went up to my room, I posted the photo on my board. When I left the village to continue travelling, that letter with its photo came with me in my backpack. On a train between Spain and Portugal, as the miles and hours were rolling by, I had a revelation about life: no matter the country, with its variations in language, customs, dress, culture, everybody is born, grows up, usually has a family, works and dies, and in the process tries to be as happy as possible. At that point, I felt I was ready to go home.
A few weeks later I was in London, England, on my way back to Canada. I felt a void – not a loneliness, but a total inner emptiness. Intuitively, I knew that I was going to start a whole new way of life, though I did not know what it was going to be.
The morning after I landed back in Halifax, as I was walking downtown, I saw a poster advertising a film – "A Day in the Life of a Spiritual Master" with Sri Chinmoy. I immediately decided, I was going to see that. During the film there is a scene where Guru is sitting in a room in his house meditating. The close-up shot of him was so powerful that I felt pressed into the back of the chair and knew that something was really going on. At the end of the film, I did not want to talk.
Soon after I started coming to the meditations, and then asked to be a disciple. When I got the photo taken in one of those photo booths, I inwardly said to Guru, "If you don’t accept me, I don’t know what I will do." I had finally found what I had been searching for all those years. And 34 years later, I still say the same thing.
My RoomPreetidutta Thorpe Auckland, New Zealand
I love coming home to my room. Everything about it inspires me and reminds me of what is important in my life.
In the Right Place, At the Right TimeEshana Gadjanski Novi Sad, Serbia
When I heard the first notes of the song, I was completely amazed; how could something that beautiful exist on earth?
A Seeker's DirectnessSumangali Morhall York, United Kingdom
A young man came up to me before a meditation class a while ago, asking very direct questions. I admire and enjoy directness; it's refreshing.